DWMA Prom
by Shingeki no Shiba
Summary: The characters of Soul Eater go to the prom. Yeah, you know this is gonna be bad. Warning: some cursing, some yaoi, and both male!Crona and female!Crona.
1. Chapter 1

**Awwwww yeaaah. Arsenic's back, only this time she's attempting humor! Fat chance of it working out, but I guess she'll learn the hard way. But if she makes me wear something stupid to prom, Imma whoop her sorry ass! Let me tell you, she was gonna have me-**

_Aless, get the hell out of here. They're gonna think I have a split personality._

**Don't you? You're the one who says that "hell is inside your head"-**

_That's not me, that's Crona. How could you possibly get us mixed up?_

**You're right. Crona's cuter.**

_Oh, shut up. Anyway, yes, I'm writing about what would happen if DWMA had a prom. I'm gonna warn you, this story will make 0 sense if you haven't read my other fanfic, _The Hell Inside My Head. _So go! Read! Give me more viewers!_

**Don't you think that's a little desperate? Especially for a story as short as this one? Where you didn't even put your favorite character in character half the time? Fail.**

_When did you turn into a bitch? Seriously, it's like you're Ragnarok or something. Are you drunk?_

**Yupyup! Skunk as a drunk!**

_That explains it. –sigh- My apologies for my OC. Here, have a story. You deserve it after dealing with her._

* * *

><p>"Guess what, Soul, guess what?"<p>

Soul leaned back in his chair and sighed. They were sitting together in class, and it was obvious that he was not in the mood for Maka's perkiness.

"What, Maka?" he muttered. "Did you get another A+ on a test? Good for you."

"No, that's not it! I mean, that happened too," she admitted, "but that's not why I'm excited. Prom's coming up!"

Her partner opened one eye and looked at her with an expression of utter distaste.

"So? It's not like I'm going. I don't really care about it."

Maka's eyes widened in shock. She gave him a light slap on the arm.

"What are you talking about? Of course you're going! Why wouldn't you want to go?"

"Prom's a chick thing. It's not cool for a guy to get wrapped up in that stuff. Black*Star and I are probably gonna have a guys night at home and pig out the whole time. Isn't that right, Black*Star?" The other meister stopped flexing his muscles, looked over, and nodded. "See? If me and Black*Star are doing it, it must be the cool thing to do. I bet there'll be hardly any guys there."

"So you're going to make me go by myself? That's just cold, Soul. You're not just my partner, you're my boyfriend. You have to go."

Soul couldn't really argue with that logic. They _were_ dating. Besides, he didn't really want to invoke the wrath of Maka.

"Fine. If you're gonna bully me into it, I guess I'll go. Hey Black*Star!" he called. "Plans are cancelled. I'm going to the prom."

Black*Star pounded a fist on the table in anger, sending papers and books flying. The teacher sent him to stand out in the hall.

* * *

><p>Aless felt on top of the world that day. Despite her small stature, she felt like she was walking tall. Surely people were watching her and wondering how anybody so strange could be so confident. She slid onto the bench next to her meister, Rikita, took out her lunch, and sighed happily.<p>

"Someone's awfully bubbly today," Aless' partner commented. "What's up?"

"Prom's coming up!" she swooned. "I didn't know DWMA had a prom! I can't wait! I love parties! And I'm gonna be prom queen, I just know it!"

"Slow down there, prom princess," Riki drawled. "Don't you think you're getting ahead of yourself?"

"You're right." Aless clenched her fists. "Where will I get my dress from? Imma need a dress, shoes, jewelry… and of course I want my hair done, but I might do that myself. Crap, how am I gonna get the money for all this? I'll need to get a second job. Oh wait, what am I saying? I work at the dressmaker's shop, maybe I can get a discount. Yeah. Discount, odd jobs… I got this in the bag."

"While that's a valid concern, it's not what I meant," Rikita laughed. "I was wondering how you're gonna be prom queen if you don't even have a date."

"What're you talking about? I'm going with Crona. Duh. Did you forget that we've been dating for, like six months? Anyways, I'll ask my boss to make my dress-"

"He didn't tell you? He says he's not going."

Aless' jaw dropped. It hadn't even occurred to her that her shy boyfriend might not want to go with her. Her dreams vanished in an instant.

"_What?_ How can he not go? Everyone's going!"

"Aless, you practically had to drag him to Kid's last party. And I think the only reason he went was because Ragnarok would beat him up if he didn't get free food. The kid doesn't like crowds. It really wouldn't make sense for him to go to prom."

"Noooo," Aless whined. "He has to go. It's a boyfriend's duty to be with his girlfriend on prom night." She set her lunch down and stood up. "I'm gonna go find him. He'll do it for me."

"And if he doesn't?"

"Then I'll whoop his girly ass." At Riki's look of concern, she rolled her eyes. "Oh, calm down. You know I wouldn't really do that."

* * *

><p>"So why exactly did you drag us out of class?" Liz asked Kid. He'd pulled her and Patti out of History for some unknown reason.<p>

"As you know," he said, "prom is coming up. And as a Shinigami, it is my duty to make sure that the whole night is precise and perfect!"

"Yeah, well as a normal human being, it's _my_ duty to have a good time. I'm going back to class." Liz turned to leave, but Kid grabbed her arm.

"_Please_! I can't do this alone! This year there is a huge challenge awaiting us!"

"Oh yeah?" asked Patti. "What's that?"

"_Asymmetrical dresses._" Kid shuddered just saying the words. "They're all over the women's fashion magazines. The cover of _Seventeen _nearly gave me a heart attack, it was so disgustingly imperfect."

"And you were looking at women's magazines because…?"

"Never mind that. We need to make sure that no one is asymmetrical on prom night. Boys must wear a boutonnière on _each _side of their jackets. Girls must have their hair parted exactly in the middle. And, of course, we have to make sure that the decorations are exact and precise as well."

"Oh, yes," Liz deadpanned. "God forbid there be a stray balloon or streamer floating around. I don't know what we would do then."

"Exactly!" Kid exclaimed, the sarcasm going right over his head. "I knew you'd agree with me! Come on, we have to go meet with my father about this. Maybe he can impose some rules about the dresses."

* * *

><p><em>See, Aless? That didn't go so bad.<em>

**You made me look like a superficial jerk.**

_Oh, get over it. Anyways, next chapter coming up soon! Hope you all like it!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Oh my god, according to my story alerts, people actually like this story -insert shocked Arsenic- In this chapter: Crona gets tackled, Shinigami-sama makes things awkward, and Aless is kind of a jerkass to Crona. Yes, for some reason her niceness kind of evaporated since _The Hell Inside My Head._ But only for a little bit._

Aless ran up to Crona, who was buying his lunch. She tackled him from behind and he shrieked.

"Explain this senselessness!" she demanded. People were staring now. Aless felt a little proud of herself. She was always good at making an entrance.

"_Aaahh!_" he cried. "I'm explaining, I'm explaining!" Crona disentangled himself from her grasp and turned to look at her. "What am I explaining? And did you have to do that? Now people are looking…"

"Why aren't you going to prom?" she asked in a normal tone, completely transformed from the kamikaze attacker she'd been a second ago.

"I-I don't really like crowds. Or dancing. Or dressing up. You know all that."

"Well I do like it!" Aless huffed. "And I can't go without a date. So you're coming."

"No, I'm not. Every time I go to a party or a dance with you, something disastrous happens. I love you, Aless, but you're a magnet for trouble. What's so special about prom, anyway? It'll be just like any of the dozens of scenes you've made, only this scene has you in a fancy dress. Something's going to happen, and then you'll be complaining because it wasn't perfect. I know you, Aless. You can't drag me into this."

Aless stepped back. Who was this confident person in front of her? He'd gotten a lot more confident since joining DWMA, but he still wasn't one to make long speeches like that. Crona hardly ever criticized her. Usually he was too busy criticizing himself. He only said things like that when he was very upset with her. In other words, shit just got real.

"You really think that?" she mumbled, shuffling her feet. "You really think I'm a magnet for trouble? I try to avoid trouble, I really do, Crona. It's not my fault. Well, not _always_ my fault." She sighed. "Look. If I promise to be calm and mild-mannered the entire night, will you go with me?"

"You mean you won't cause chaos?"

"If you don't want me to, I won't. I won't be party-girl Aless. I'll be romantic-date Aless. It'll be nice. Come on."

Crona considered this for a minute. He gave her a wary look.

"Here. If I cause trouble, I'll cook dinner for you _and_ Ragnarok for a week."

_Shit,_ Aless thought. _Why did I say that? I hate cooking!_

Reluctantly, Crona nodded.

"Okay. I guess that's good."

* * *

><p>"Ah, Kid!" Shinigami-sama clapped his large white gloves together. "How's my dear son doing? Is something troubling you?"<p>

Kid stood ramrod straight as he addressed his father. Liz wondered why the young meister was always so formal, even when addressing his own parent. He and his dad were polar opposites, equal only in terms of fighting spirit and batshit crazyness.

"Father, I'm very concerned," he said quietly. "As you know, prom is coming up-"

"Oh, you need help finding a date?" Shinigami-sama interrupted. "Don't worry, there are plenty of young girls out here who are dying to go out with someone as cute as you!"

"That's not why I'm upset," Kid said through gritted teeth, making it blatantly obvious that yes, that was bothering him. "I'll just go with Liz and Patti, like I do for every event. But I'm worried about whether everything will be precise and perfect. I'm already on the decorating committee, so that's taken care of, but I was wondering if you could impose a rule stating that everyone must dress symmetrically."

"Oh. I'm sorry, Kid, but that sounds a little harsh. I don't think it would be right to curb the students' creativity with their dress. You don't have to go if you don't want to. If it'll make you vomit blood-"

"But that's the thing! I'm a Shinigami! I _have_ to go! Besides, if I sit at home, I'll just have that nagging feeling that everybody's out enjoying themselves, oblivious to the terrible imperfection they've caused." He fell to his knees and clutched his head. "What am I going to do…?"

Patti put a hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay, Kid," she said cheerily. "You'll be fine. And if you're not," – she switched to a serious voice – "you're gonna be sorry."

Liz laughed. Apparently Patti was excited about prom, too. They wouldn't let Kid ruin it. Or at least, they'd get through the evening with the least amount of casualties possible.

* * *

><p>Maka grinned as she and Soul walked down the streets of Death City. She'd tagged along to help him pick out a tux for prom.<p>

"Why can't I just wear my usual suit?" he whined. "If people see us like this, my rep is gonna be ruined."

"Why will it be ruined?" Maka asked. "I would think it'd be a good thing to be seen with your beloved girlfriend. Unless, of course, I'm embarrassing to you…" She slid him a suspicious glance and he shook his head.

"Of course you're not embarrassing. The embarrassing part is that I let a girl bully me into going to prom."

They arrived at the shop they were looking for – a fine men's clothing outlet.

"Don't worry. When everyone sees how good you look in your tux, I guarantee that your coolness will go through the roof."

* * *

><p>Aless leaned on the counter at her job. She worked weekends for one of the several seamstresses in Death City. Of course, she couldn't really sew. She just helped out stocking fabrics, working the counter, and being an errand girl for Lila, the women running the shop.<p>

"Hey Lila," she called into the back room. "You busy? I wanna ask you something."

The plump woman appeared in the doorway. She set down the armfuls of silk she was holding and took a deep breath.

"Those things are heavier than they look," she muttered. "I don't know how you do it, Aless. Anyway, what's up?"

"Well, I was kinda wondering if you could make me a dress for prom."

"Sure! If you wanna stay after hours today, we can work on it."

"Um…" Aless twiddled her thumbs. "The only problem is, I don't really have all that much money. I still have to get shoes and jewelry. Do I get an employee discount?"

The seamstress leaned against the wall, thinking long and hard.

"Aless, I know that you're in a bad place financially. Heck, I'm still there. This business is scraping by, so I can't really afford to give you a raise. However," she added, "I'll give you this option: Pay for the fabric now, and then I'll take a small amount out of your pay check each month until you've paid me back. Sound good?"

Aless grinned and hugged her boss.

"Thank you soooo much, Lila! That sounds wonderful! I'll work extra hard. Can we start today?"

"Sure we can start today. It's about closing time. Oh, and of course I'm going to need all the juicy details after prom." She winked.

"Of course. Trust me, I'm sure there'll be plenty."

The next few days were fairly uneventful. There was, naturally, the pre-prom hustle and bustle, girls getting their dresses, boys renting suits, and everyone trying to find a date. Aless was visiting Lila's shop even on the days that she didn't have to work, just to see how the dress was coming. It was long and elegant, with layers of black chiffon and a slit up the side with purple silk peeking through. The same purple silk poofed out on the bust, which Aless liked, since it disguised her emaciated figure as a curvier one.

The next weekend, Aless was working the counter again. Business was slow. Even though Lila was arguably the best seamstress in town, everyone was going to the bigger, newer, more chic shops. Lila said it didn't matter, since the few customers they had always paid good money – and besides, the people who went to her competitors would be upset when a rip was discovered in a skirt, or a gown spontaneously fell apart. But as much as Aless agreed with her, the lack of business made for some boring days. And Aless did not do well with boredom. She was sitting on the stool with her head down next to the cash register when she heard the door open.

Lifting her head up, she saw a rather distraught-looking Crona approaching her.

"Hey, hon. What's up? You don't usually visit me when I'm on the job."

"Explain _this_ senselessness," he muttered, using her favorite line. He slid a paper across the counter and she picked it up.

"'Nominations for prom queen and king,'" she read aloud. "'Queen: Maka Albarn, Josie Poppins, Rae Galeborn, Alessei Giles…" She stopped and smiled. "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. I'm running for prom queen."

"You said you wouldn't cause trouble."

"This isn't trouble, this is publicity."

"You _said_ you wouldn't cause trouble."

"Don't worry, I'll be perfectly civilized whether I win or lose."

"Aless," he groaned, "the whole point of you promising that was so that I wouldn't have to deal with people staring and whispering and making me feel awkward. How am I going to stay under the radar if you're nominated for prom queen?"

"They won't be looking at you, they'll be looking at me. If anyone gives you trouble, I'll beat them up. After prom," she clarified. "Beating them up there would cause a scene."

"It's not that." He shook his head. "I just don't understand it, Aless. I don't understand _you_. Why? Why do you always have to make a spectacle of yourself? Why do you have to shine when some of us would rather hide in the shadows? Why can't… why can't you just be _normal_?"

Aless drew back, more than a little shocked.

"You're one to talk about normal, sweetie," she chided. "And I thought you loved me _because_ I was abnormal."

"I do. But sometimes it's a bit much. I don't know how to deal with you when you act like that." He sighed and slumped his shoulders. "I guess I don't like it because you remind me of the fact that I'm not normal."

"Crona." She put a hand on his shoulder. "Regardless of whether you're normal or not, you're still a wonderful person. You're still my demonic little angel. And I love you." She gave him a crooked smile. "Besides, normal is overrated. Normal people are boring. But look. If you don't want me running for prom queen, I'll drop out. The last thing I want is to make you sad. We can just enjoy the night together, in anonymity."

"Well, actually, only part of me was upset. Mainly because you didn't tell me. But there was a little bit of me that kind of liked the idea. I've been thinking about something for a while. And I think prom is the perfect time to do it." He leaned close and whispered in her ear. She gasped.

"Are you sure? You're prepared for what people will say? I don't want you to get hurt."

Crona nodded, a grave look on his face.

"If you're stepping out of your shell, I may as well join you."

_Apologies for putting so much of Aless in there, when I doubt anyone cares about her. But look at the ending! Suspense!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Alrighty, folks. Prepare for the long-ass chapter. I was considering splitting it up, but figured that it'd just be more convenient as one, terribly long chapter. In this chapter: Prom arrives, Kid is a drunken idiot, and shit gets trippy with Crona. And since some of the stuff in here might not make snse for various reasons, I'm going to insert an author's note somewhere in there about the trippy Crona situation. Okay? Okay._

* * *

><p>The night of prom had finally arrived. The ballroom of DWMA was festooned in black, white, and red balloons and streamers – in perfect left-right symmetry, thanks to Kid's position on the decorating committee. Slowly the students started to arrive in their fancy dress.<p>

Maka twirled around in her bright red dress. She hugged Soul.

"This is gonna be awesome!" she squealed. "Thank you so much for coming with me, Soul. I really mean it."

"Hey, it's fine. I mean, why wouldn't I want to spend the night with you? You're my beautiful, wonderful-"

"YA-HOOOOOO!" Black*Star had made his entrance, dropping from the chandelier. He crashed to the ground, his hastily thrown-together outfit becoming even more rumpled. Tsubaki ran over as fast as she could in her heels, trying to help him up. He was standing before she even got to him. The boy was indestructible. He raced over to the food table.

"Looks like Black*Star's determined to get his money's worth out of this," laughed Soul. "If he has to rent a tux, he'll just reward himself by stuffing his face."

"Hey! There's Kid!" said Maka, pointing.

Sure enough, Kid was in the corner with Liz and Patti, trying not to have a meltdown. It was obvious that the stress was wearing on him. There was only so much that symmetrical decorations could do.

"Hey, Kid, I'm gonna get something to drink," said Liz. "You want anything?"

"Yes. A Valium."

"I don't think they have that in fruit punch form." She walked off.

As much as Kid was upset about the imperfections, he also had knots in his stomach for another reason. He found himself wishing he could have found a date other than his weapons. But, of course, the person he wanted was already taken.

Like a masochist, Kid watched the door, waiting for his crush to walk in. But they didn't appear. He spotted Ox Ford in a plaid suit and his goofy glasses. He saw Kim in a sunny yellow dress. But no sign of… wait, was that Aless that just walked in? Why wasn't she with Crona? She'd stolen Kid's date, and now they didn't even show up together? _Maybe they broke up, _Kid hoped. _Maybe I can dance with him tonight._

Yes, Aless was alone, and though she looked stunning, she didn't have a boy on her arm. She was with some girl that Kid hadn't seen before. _A new student?_ No, that wasn't possible. He finally got a good look at the girl in the white wrap dress. Tall, willowy figure, short pink hair, large, navy blue eyes… no. That wasn't possible! Could it really be that Crona, Kid's ultimate crush, the one boy he wanted to see in a tux, came to the prom in a _dress?_ He felt ready to pass out.

"Hi, Aless!" Maka waved. "Wait, is that…"

Soul looked utterly confused. But Black*Star said what everyone was thinking.

"Yo, Crona! Why are you dressed in drag?"

Crona blushed, but gave a wavering, nervous smile. Aless nudged him, encouraging him to come forth with the truth. _After all,_ she thought, _it'd be stupid to come like this and then not explain it._

"Well, Black*Star, I have a bit of a confession to make." He took a deep breath. "I'm… I mean, I'm both… a boy and a girl." He said the end so quietly that they had to lean in to hear him. The others looked at each other in confusion.

"But you told us all that you were a boy!" cried Soul.

"No I didn't. You guys just guessed that. It's true, most of the time I feel like a boy, but sometimes… I feel like a girl."

"Crona's just flexible like that," Aless nodded, grinning.

"Wait, Aless, you knew about this?"

"Well, yeah. But it would be wrong to tell you without Crona's permission. So I kept it on the down low." She put a finger to her lips. "Anybody got a problem with this?"

They all looked at each other. Finally, one by one, everyone in the group shook their heads.

"I think we're all a little shocked," said Maka, "but you're still our friend, Crona. This was really brave of you."

"Yeah. Brave. I feel so brave that I think I'm gonna faint." Aless put a supportive arm around his/her waist.

"So just to clarify: you switch between boy and girl?" Tsubaki asked.

"Yeah. On the inside, I change."

"And you're a girl tonight?"

"Y-yeah. I guess so."

"I knew it!" Black*Star cried. "I totally called that! Didn't I call that, Soul?"

"If you did, you never mentioned it to me. Come on, let's get something to eat."

"I'm coming with you," muttered Tsubaki. More than likely she wanted to keep them out of mischief.

* * *

><p><em>Told you shit was getting trippy. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that some of my readers do not know what the hell I'm talking about with Crona being two genders. Allow me to explain. Yes, in my last fanfic I revealed that (s)he was both physically, and now I'm saying that (s)he is both mentally as well. There are people out there who feel like a girl sometimes and a boy other times. The term for this is gender fluid. Seeing as I myself am gender fluid, feel free to ask questions if this ain't making sense. <em>

_Also, I'm gonna have to switch between he and she, and him and her, so apologies if it's hard to follow. _

_Get it? Got it? Good._

* * *

><p>Aless glanced around the ballroom, then nudged her date on the arm.<p>

"Yo – someone's checking you out!" she whispered.

"What? Who? What are you talking about?"

"See that dude over there in the white suit?" She gestured toward a muscular boy with blond hair and tan, almost orange, skin. "He totally thinks you're hot. He's been looking at you since we walked in."

"Oh, that's impossible. I'm sure he just thinks I'm strange-looking. Probably thinks I'm a guy in drag. By the way, how do I look in this dress? Am I pulling it off? I feel so fat."

Aless cackled.

"Just like a regular girl. Don't worry, you're gorgeous. But I wouldn't be surprised if that guy makes a move on you later. So Maka," she added, "what do you think? This is awesome!"

Maka grinned, a little eager to change the subject.

"Can you believe it, Aless? We're actually at prom! I know _you're_ excited for this; you love dressing up. Let's go dance!" She grabbed Aless's wrist, and they both looked at Crona, who waved them off.

"Go ahead. Aless likes to dance." Aless got up on tiptoe to kiss her boy-girlfriend, and the two girls ran off as fast as they could in their towering heels. Crona saw Aless trip and barely catch herself and couldn't help but laugh. Ragnarok appeared suddenly, leaning on her head.

"Why are you here anyway?" the little demon asked. "This is boring."

"I'm surprised you aren't complaining about my outfit. You're Ragnarok. By all logic, you should be hitting me on the head and calling me a retarded drag queen. Not that I'm complaining!" she added as Ragnarok drew back a stubby arm. "Why are you suddenly normal?"

"What're you talking about? I've always been normal! You're the weird one. And besides, I'm used to you wearing a dress. All you did was add heels and a necklace. I don't see what the big deal is." He pointed towards the punch table. "Over there. Now. I want food."

"But I'm not hungry-"

"_I don't care! I am!_" He started to tug on Crona's hair and his meister grudgingly obliged.

As Crona filled up two glasses – one with water for herself, and one with fruit punch for Ragnarok (which would most likely be spilled on her head within five minutes), someone appeared next to her. She turned and saw the boy Aless had mentioned earlier. The boy smiled.

"Hey. Wanna dance?" he asked.

"Oh, umm…" Crona stuttered. "I-I'm not really much of a dancer." This was just a reminder of how uncomfortable she was with anyone outside her small circle of friends.

"I doubt that. You look like a dancer, with a body like that." He took a step closer. "Just one dance? Or how about a kiss? Don't tell me you don't want this." He gestured toward his bulky, overly muscled chest.

Crona just stood there, utterly shocked and petrified. Why didn't Ragnarok appear when he was needed? If only the little blood weapon would pop out and say something offensive, maybe this guy would leave.

"I, that is, I kind of… I'm kind of dating someone, so…"

"What? Who? I doubt he can compete with me." The boy looked around, as if trying to find the one who'd stolen his dance partner. Finally, Ragnarok came out and said something.

"_She_ is dancing with a friend, but if she comes back, she's gonna kill you!"

The teenage boy jumped, gawking at the demon.

"What – what are you? Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Ragnarok. Who are you?"

"Wait – did that little twerp just say 'she'? Are you-"

He was cut of by a hand on his shoulder. He turned around to see the petite form of Aless, who was giving him an innocent smile.

"Is there a problem here?" she asked in a sweet voice.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Aless. I'm Crona's girlfriend. Why are you bugging my date? She's taken."

The boy put up his hands in defense.

"Hey, I didn't know she had a girlfriend. I'm sorry."

"I saw you. You were watching as I kissed her goodbye when I went to dance. What, you think you're gonna 'turn' her? Make her like boys?" Her voice was getting more belligerent by the word, and she was getting up in his face. He put a finger to her forehead and pushed her down.

"What's a pipsqueak like you gonna do?" he asked. Aless stepped back and pouted.

"You did _not_ just say that." She whipped out her hand and delivered a sharp jab to his stomach. The boy doubled over in pain. "Yeah. Don't be talking down to the pipsqueaks." She grabbed Crona's wrist. "Let's go. He's not worth it."

Crona followed her, slightly in awe that she would do such a thing.

"Why… what…" she stuttered.

"Hm?" Aless stopped and looked at her.

"_What the hell was that?_" Crona fumed. "You said… you _promised…_"

"Oh, come on. That was _not_ making a scene. Nobody was even paying attention."

* * *

><p>Kid was still reeling from the gossip he'd heard throughout the night.<p>

"A boy… _and _a girl?" he muttered to himself. He was sitting against the wall, head in his hands. In hindsight, he probably should have brought some pain pills for the headache he had known he would get, but it had slipped his mind. Now the asymmetry of it all was hurting his brain. And he still hadn't talked to Crona, which he felt he should, but what would he say? _"Congratulations on thoroughly freaking everyone out"?_

_I'll just go up and say whatever comes out of my mouth,_ he decided. Like a man on a mission, he marched right up to his crush, who was chatting with Maka. Aless had apparently done something objectionable, and had been banished to the snack table, where she was downing half the cheese plate and attempting (read: failing at) polite conversation. _This is perfect. She's not there, so I can say whatever I want._ Kid coughed, and they looked at him.

"Hi, Kid!" chirped Maka. "Where've you been all night?"

"It's hurting my head," he explained with an apologetic smile. "I'm just trying to hold it together right now."

"Ah. Well I hope you feel better!" A slow song came on, and Maka drifted off the dance with Soul. Kid looked across the room and saw Aless striding towards them, probably to redeem herself. _Why is Crona with that obnoxious girl, anyway?_ Kid wondered. _She's so unrefined… I'd be so much better. And I have approximately thirty seconds before she gets over here. Quick!_

"So, um… interesting look you've got tonight," Kid told his crush.

"Oh, uh… yeah. D-did you hear the story behind it?"

"Yeah, I heard the gossip. Don't worry, I'm fine with it," he added when he saw Crona's anxious face. "And I must say you look lovely tonight."

"R-really?" She seemed pleasantly shocked. "N-no one's said that except Aless."

"It's true, though. That dress has superb symmetry!" Kid gave a thumbs up, then, realizing he probably looked like a dork, backtracked. "So, are you going to be dancing with Aless tonight?"

"Of course! She's my date. I don't know where she is, though…" She looked around to no avail.

"I saw her by the snack table," said Kid, "but she walked away. I'm not sure where she went. You know," he added, "it's kind of ignorant of her to leave you alone when a slow song comes on."

"I don't mind," Crona shrugged. "I mean, I'm just happy to have her with me, you know? I'm kind of glad that she convinced me to come tonight. She inspired me to dress like this, you know. Without her, I never would've come out of my shell in the first place. I'd still be the way I was when I came here."

_Ah. So that's it. She gives Crona confidence. Well, I can do that too. Time to get my charm on._

"I don't see why. You're really cool and nice. And you're one of the best fighters I've ever seen. You really have nothing to be modest about."

"You're just saying that. But I appreciate it. Coming from someone like you, that means a lot."

"Someone like me?" asked Kid.

"Yeah. You're so smart, and even though you're a Shinigami, you don't look down on normal people that much. I like that about you."

Kid, like any normal person who had been complimented by their crush, was about to go into a frenzy. He decided to go catatonic instead, and the silence stretched out.

"K… Kid? Are you okay?"

Kid snapped back to reality.

"Yes, I'm okay. I was just busy looking at you, you look so gorgeous."

Crona jumped, looking a little frightened.

"G-g-gorgeous?" she repeated, blushing. "You really think that?"

"Sure I do. I mean, you've got those big blue eyes, and a rocking body…" _Oh, God, stop talking! Shut up! Pause! Cease and desist!_ _Bad Kid! _But it was no use. He'd gone past the point of no return. "And _that ass._ I mean, damn, you look amazing!"

By the end of his bizarre speech, both Kid and the object of his affection were completely shocked. Kid was frozen and speechless (_why couldn't he have been speechless a few seconds ago?_), and Crona was twitching. _What do I do? How do I recover from that?_ Kid, in a moment of panic, did the only thing that seemed natural: he kissed Crona.

He was unable to savor the moment, however, because Aless appeared at that moment, shoving the two apart.

"_What the hell is going on here?_" she growled, squinting at him. "Kid, why in God's good name are you kissing _my_ date? And just a second ago, she looked terrified. What did you say?" She pushed him up against the wall, surprisingly strong for someone shorter than him.

"I didn't say anything!" he cried.

"Yes you did. Crona always twitches when she's upset, and that kid was twitching something terrible, I saw it." She pushed harder. "_What did you say?_"

"I said… I said she looked gorgeous."

"And?"

"And that she had a nice ass," he admitted quietly, ashamed.

"And why are you looking at my boy-girlfriend's ass?"

"Boy-girlfriend?"

"Yeah, you wanna make something of it?" She dropped him. "Forget you, I need to talk to Crona. She must be having a panic attack." Aless glanced behind her. "Aw shit, she ran away. I'll deal with you later, date-stealer." She ran off.

Shinigami-sama clapped as the lights dimmed everywhere except for the stage.

"Ahem! Now is the time to announce our prom king and queen!"

A hush fell over the crowd.

"First, the runners-up – the prom prince and princess! Our prom prince is Black*Star, and our prom princess is Maka Albarn!"

Black*Star let out a loud YA-HOOOOO! and ran onto the stage to get his small plastic crown as a reward. Maka accepted her tiara with a disgusted look on her face. Either she was upset about losing, or upset about being paired with Black*Star. Most likely a combination of the two.

"And, this year's prom king and queen are… Soul Eater Evans and Alessei Giles!"

Soul strutted onto the stage, looking stunning in his tux. Liz had to admit that he was one of the best looking guys there, and he'd been classy the whole time (unlike Black*Star, who got into an argument with Kid about whether they needed a disco ball in the ballroom). And Aless… where was she?

"Where is Alessei Giles?" asked Shinigami-sama. "Alessei Giles, if you are in the building, this isn't funny. Stop eating the cheesecake and accept your prize." Silence. "Okay, well in that case, our runner-up gets the prize! Maka Albarn, you are our prom queen!"

Maka looked ready to cry.

As Soul and Maka danced under the spotlight in their cheap plastic crowns (apparently Shinigami-sama is a cheapskate), Aless was running down the alleys of Death City, trying to find her runaway date.

"Crona!" she called. "Crona, wherever you are, come out! Please?"

"Shut up!" someone called out their window. "We're trying to sleep!"

_Where would she go?_ Aless asked herself. _What's her favorite place in the whole city?_ Suddenly, it came to her, and she ran towards DWMA.

Aless emerged on the main balcony of the school. The moon was (literally) smiling down on the cold, white stone. On the wall at the edge, she saw a lone figure sitting with its head in its hands.

"Crona?" Aless whispered, so as not to scare the troubled girl. "Sweetie, it's me. Are you okay?" No answer. She approached the edge and sat on the wall next to Crona. The taller girl's body was shaking with sobs, and Aless held her until they stopped. Her dress was torn in several places, as if it had been ripped away by angry hands.

"Why?" Crona whimpered. "Why does it have to be like this… I hate being like this…"

"What happened? You hate being like what?"

"I just wish I was normal!" she bawled. "When Kid said that… I just… I wish I was a normal boy. Or a girl. I just hate being in between… when he said that I'd started to feel like a boy again. It's like I switched halfway through the night. It was so uncomfortable. I don't even know what I am! I shouldn't feel like this! There's something wrong with me!" She started sobbing again.

"Crona," Aless said. "I know it's hard. But there's nothing wrong with you. In my opinion, you're perfect, actually." She paused, putting the pieces together. "So let me get this straight. You felt like a girl at the beginning of the dance, then you felt like a guy, then Kid complimented you as if you were a girl, and it got you upset?"

Crona nodded, sniffling.

"Well, how about you try taking it as a compliment?" Aless suggested. "The next time you're insecure and you wish you were more feminine, just remember that we all think you're beautiful. _And_ handsome. You're just lovely like that. It takes a special person to be both." She chuckled. "Besides, like I said, normal is overrated. Normal people are boring." She hugged her boy-girlfriend one more time. "Do you think you'll be able to go back to the prom? Or should we call it a night?"

"You can go back if you want. I know you want to see if you won prom queen. But I can't go back. Not after I ran out like that."

"I don't have to go back. It's not _that_ important. Come on. Let's go back to my room and relax. This dress is suffocating me," she admitted.

As they walked, Crona sighed.

"I'm sorry for ruining your prom."

"It's fine. It ain't prom until somebody cries."

* * *

><p>Back at prom, Kid was still kicking himself over what he had done. He'd totally blown his chance. He had also made the mistake of telling Soul, who told Black*Star, who took that little bit of information and turned it into an epic rumor that spread like wildfire. Kid listened to the people whispering. Somehow, the story had evolved to include a broken nose, a rape whistle, and Kid saying some extremely lewd things to Crona. Apparently not even Shinigamis were immune to gossip.<p>

At one point he started hearing talk that the punch bowl had been spiked with vodka. Deciding that he really needed a drink after The Incident, Kid downed five cups of punch, with disastrous results.

"Hey, isn't that…?"

"Look at that crazy Shinigami!"

"What's he even doing?"

"Ahem, I have an announcement to make!" Kid said into the microphone. He had somehow stumbled up onto the stage, and was barely forming coherent sentences. "The… the comedy hour is about to begin! And I am the first performer! Uh…What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?"

The crowd was silent.

"'We are both lawyers!'" Kid proceeded to laugh maniacally. Apparently he can do a crazy laugh even better than Stein. "And, uh… what do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen!" He cackled again. "And now a funny story. Once upon a time, there was a Shinigami named Kid. And he was gay. The end! That's all my time, folks! Goodbye!" He attempted to leave the stage, but fell off instead. He hit his head and passed out.

As all this was happening, Black*Star was also drunk. During Kid's failed attempt at comedy, he had climbed up the curtain of the stage. After Kid fell off and knocked himself out, Black*Star slid down onto center stage, spouting drunken nonsense (which wasn't very different from his normal nonsense).

"Behold! I, Black*Star, am descending from the heavens! Gaze upon my glory, bitches! Aw yeah… I'm pimpin'. I… I need some sleep." He stopped halfway down the curtain and clung there, seemingly asleep. He even started snoring.

"I'll go get him," sighed Soul. He traipsed up onto the stage. "Dude, Black*Star, wake up. This isn't cool, man." Getting no response, he started climbing up the curtain his friend was hanging from. He reached for Black*Star's foot to pull him down, when suddenly…

"BWAHAHAHA!" Black*Star kicked out at Soul's head, knocking him to the ground. Finally, Shinigami-sama intervened, and told everyone to go home.

In other words, prom was pretty much an average night for the gang.


	4. Epilogue

_Last chapter. It isn't very good or funny or long (sorry!); it just tells us what happened after prom._

The aftermath of the prom wasn't nearly as much fun.

It turns out that when Black*Star kicked Soul in the face, Soul's tooth got knocked out. He spent the next day in the dentist's office getting it fixed. He refused anesthesia, however, because it's cooler to take the pain like a man. He passed out from fear within five minutes.

Maka stayed by Soul's side, but refused to take off her prom queen crown. As she put it, "It's not my fault you and Black*Star were acting like apes. Why should I relinquish my glory?"

Kid had a hangover from hell and stayed in bed for three days, recovering from the asymmetry (and embarrassment) of it all. He later apologized to Crona, who simply blushed and nodded. He also apologized to his father, Shinigami-sama, for getting drunk and running the prom into the ground.

Aless was seriously pissed about not being there to be prom queen, but of course her anger was directed at Kid more than Crona. But she has been working on being calmer and not making a scene about little things. Therefore, she did not punch Kid in the face. Instead, she wrote about The Incident for the school newspaper. Crona had to explain to her that psychological torture isn't very good either.

Crona was more confident after the prom, and has been accepted by his friends for who he (or she) is. While he is trying to subdue Aless, she is trying to help him become more outgoing. Neither has made much progress.

Ragnarok got a stomachache after eating so much. When he tried to eat the next morning, he puked on Crona's head. Apparently demon vomit, while smelling horrible, stains whatever it touches black. Black-haired Crona stayed in his room until Maka brought him some pink hair dye. Ragnarok has yet to apologize.

Black*Star suffered no adverse effects from the alcohol. He spent the days after prom annoying everyone who was not so lucky.

_And so our little story has come to an end. Thank you to all my readers, especially the ones who took the time to review it, I really appreciate it!_

**What's the lesson?**

_Excuse me, Aless?_

**In English class we learned that there's a lesson in every story. It's called a theme. So what's the lesson?**

_I didn't write this to teach a lesson, Aless. I wrote it to have fun._

**So then what was the point?**

_Um… you got to dress up and have a cute romance scene? Be happy you got that much._

**Arsenic, I am disappoint.**

_Oh, go away. Anyways, thank for reading! Now I'd like to know: was this story funny or not? Should I write more Soul Eater humor? If so, PM me with ideas and I'll try to turn them into something. Sayonara!_


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